cycle of hurt

hurt people have a victim mentality – they transfer their inner anger, and hurt those around them. hurt people interprete just about every word, and action through their prism of pain. all they see, feel, and understand is hurt, until it gets to the point that they become comfortable in their pain.  it’s the reason why those that are victims of abuse stay with their abuser even though they know it isn’t good for them to stay.  they find more comfort in the shit that they know, than the shit they don’t know. they are afraid that what happened once will inevitably happen again.

because those with a victim mentality are only comfortable in an environment of pain and hurt, they drag others down to their level. they hurt those around them (consciously and unconsciously) because hurt is what they are comfortable with. it is a nasty cycle that unfortunately will continue until the person decides to move beyond the victim’s mentality.
how does the cycle end?
they have to change their mindset from victim to survivor. the difference between the two is the victim lets the hurt define them. the survivor loves themselves enough to only let the hurt shape them. you take what you need to from the experience, learn from it and move on. until that happens the cycle will continue.

How to Work From Home

Working from home is fraught with the kind of problems you don’t have in the office. It’s amazing what a strong motivator it is to be sitting at a computer screen that faces five other people who can see when you’re messing around on Facebook. But when you’re at home, there’s no-one looking over your shoulder, you are king. The only motivating factor is your own brain. And sometimes your brain can be the enemy. Here’s how to combat some of the ideas your brain might tempt you with when you work from home.

I’ll just leave Twitter on in the background

Your brain: It won’t distract me much. I’ll just pop onto it if I have something particularly witty to say. It’s like marketing myself, really. It could actually lead to work. Which is a totally justified use of my time. Ooh, funny picture!

Solution: Simple, really. Don’t leave Twitter on. It’s never just one quick look. If you’re working on an offline document, disable the internet access on your computer for the duration of that task to eliminate temptation.

The shops are quieter on a week day…

Your brain: I need a new shirt, but I’ll leave that until the weekend. No point wasting my freelancing day on shopping. But the shops are so busy on a Saturday! It would actually be more productive to pop in on a Wednesday, buy the shirt, and get out. I’ll be saving time, not wasting it.

Solution: Would you go shopping all morning if you were in an office working? No. Then don’t do it at home. At the office, you’d cram any shopping that needs to be done into your lunch hour, so do the same when you’re working from home. The benefit of working from home, of course, is that you can take your ‘lunch’ hour whenever you like. But keep it to an hour.

My phone beeped!

Your brain: That’s the email tone. I’ve got an email. I have purposely closed my emails so that I don’t get distracted. But that could be an important email. It could be from a client. I’ll just have a quick peek at it. Oh, sod off, Ticketmaster. I don’t want half price tickets to ‘Jersey Boys’.

Solution: Another obvious one – put your phone on silent. Unless you’re waiting on an email that is crucial to the task you are working on, only check your emails at allocated times of day: mid-morning, after lunch and late afternoon. They’ll only be a distraction if you’re trying to plough through a particular task.

I could have a cup of tea

Your brain: You’re right, I could have a cup of tea. To the kettle!

Solution: Actually, tea breaks are a good thing. You can’t concentrate for a full eight hours, and if you try to force yourself to, your brain is going to rebel. Short breaks here and there, and a chance to get away from your computer and move around, will actually improve your productivity. Just don’t live on tea and coffee alone – to stay hydrated, and productive, you should always have a glass of water to hand too.

I have Sky TV

Your brain: How am I supposed to be working with that much TV at my fingertips?! I should really just cancel my subscription and do some actual work. KIDDING! I’ll never give you away, baby. Shh now. There there.

Solution: Personally, I find that watching TV, especially a programme with a plotline I can get engrossed in, really damages my focus. It takes me out of the task I’ve been working on, and it’s very hard to get back into the flow. I avoid anything fictional while I’m working, and just have the news on in the background while I make lunch.

I could have a biscuit

Your brain: Dammit, you’re right again. Chocolate HobNob it is.

Solution: There’s nothing to say that snacking damages concentration, but overloading on sugar definitely does. Try to stick to healthy snacks while you’re working to boost your energy levels without giving you an artificial sugar high, which will burn out as quickly as it arrived. There’s nothing wrong with the odd treat here and there though, especially as a reward after a particularly productive day.

                                                       source:  yahoo

Mysteries of The Unexplained

You would not believe the amazing coincidences that happens in this world. Some even say there is a hand from 'upstairs' that's orchestrating all this. Read on and tell me what you think about this coincidences

#James Dean's cursed car

In September 1955, James Dean was killed in a horrific car accident whilst he was driving his Porsche sports car. After the crash the car was seen as very unlucky.

a) When the car was towed away from accident scene and taken to a garage, the engine slipped out and fell onto a mechanic, shattering both of his legs.

b) Eventually the engine was bought by a doctor, who put it into his racing car and was killed shortly afterwards, during a race. Another racing driver, in the same race, was killed in his car, which had James Dean's driveshaft fitted to it.

c) When James Dean's Porsche was later repaired, the garage it was in was destroyed by fire.
d) Later the car was displayed in Sacramento, but it fell off it's mount and broke a teenager's hip.
e) In Oregon, the trailer that the car was mounted on slipped from it's towbar and smashed through the front of a shop.
f) Finally, in 1959, the car mysteriously broke into 11 pieces while it was sitting on steel supports.
You would think they would learn, but..no!

#A bullet that reached its destiny years later

Henry Ziegland thought he had dodged fate.
In 1883, he broke off a relationship with his girlfriend who, out of distress, committed suicide.

The girl's brother was so enraged that he hunted down Ziegland and shot him. The brother, believing he had killed Ziegland, then turned his gun on himself and took his own life. But miraculously, Ziegland had not been killed. The bullet, in fact, had only grazed his face and then lodged in a tree. Ziegland surely thought himself a lucky man. Some years later, however, Ziegland decided to cut down the large tree, which still had the bullet in it. The task seemed so formidable that he decided to blow it up with a few sticks of dynamite. The explosion propelled the bullet into Ziegland's head, killing him instantly.
And we all thought the girls brother missed...smh

(Source: Ripley's Believe It or Not!)

#Mark Twain and Halley's Comet

Mark Twain was born on the day of the appearance of Halley's Comet in 1835, and died on the day of its next appearance in 1910. He himself predicted this in 1909, when he said: "I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it."

How romantic!

#A falling baby, saved twice by the same man

In Detroit sometime in the 1930s, a young and incredibly careless mother must have been eternally grateful to a man named Joseph Figlock.
As Figlock was walking down the street, the mother's baby fell from a high window onto Figlock. The baby's fall was broken and both man and baby were unharmed.

A stroke of luck on its own, but a year later, the very same baby fell from the very same window onto poor, unsuspecting, baby-catching Joseph Figlock as he was again passing beneath. And again, they both survived the event.

#Poker winnings, to the unsuspected son

In 1858, Robert Fallon was shot dead, an act of vengeance by those with whom he was playing poker. Fallon, they claimed, had won the $600 pot through cheating.

With Fallon's seat empty and none of the other players willing to take the now-unlucky $600, they found a new player to take Fallon's place and staked him with the dead man's $600.
By the time the police had arrived to investigate the killing, the new player had turned the $600 into $2,200 in winnings. The police demanded the original $600 to pass on to Fallon's next of kin - only to discover that the new player turned out to be Fallon's son, who had not seen his father in seven years!

(Source: Ripley's Giant Book of Believe It or Not!)

#King Umberto I' double

In Monza, Italy, King Umberto I, went to a small restaurant for dinner, accompanied by his aide-de-camp, General Emilio Ponzia Vaglia.

When the owner took King Umberto's order, the King noticed that he and the restaurant owner were virtual doubles, in face and in build.
Both men began discussing the striking resemblances between each other and found many more similarities.

a) Both men were born on the same day, of the same year, (March

14th, 1844).

b) Both men had been born in the same town.

c) Both men married a woman with same name, Margherita.

d) The restauranteur opened his restaurant on the same day that King Umberto was crowned King of Italy.

e) On the 29th July 1900, King Umberto was informed that the restauranteur had died that day in a mysterious shooting accident, and as he expressed his regret, he was then assassinated by an anarchist in the crowd.

#A novel that predicted the Titanic's doom, and

prevented Titanian's doom

Morgan Robertson, in 1898, wrote "Futility".

It described the maiden voyage of a transatlantic luxury liner named the Titan.

Although it was touted as being unsinkable, it strikes an iceberg and sinks with much loss of life.

In 1912 the Titanic, a transatlantic luxury liner widely touted as
unsinkable strikes an iceberg and sinks withgreat loss of life on her
maiden voyage.
In the Book (Futility), the Month of the Wreck was April, same as in the real event. There were 3,000 passengers on the book; in reality, 2,207. In the Book, there were 24 Lifeboats; in reality, 20. Months after the Titanic sank, a tramp steamer was traveling through the foggy Atlantic with only a young boy on watch. It came into his head that it had been thereabouts that the Titanic had sunk, and he was suddenly terrified by the thought of the name of his ship - the Titanian. 
Panic-stricken, he sounded the warning. The ship stopped, just in time: a huge iceberg loomed out of the fog directly in their path. The Titanian was saved.

Lesson to be learnt: Don't name your ship anything with titan on it

How To Use iCloud Drive

Apple's iCloud Drive is one of the coolest new features to come from the company in a long time.

Those of you who updated to iOS 8 probably noticed a little pop-up window that asked you to activate iCloud Drive, a new feature that Apple introduced at WWDC 2014. 
Like Dropbox or Google Drive, though there are some differences.

If you're confused about iCloud Drive and want to know more about the feature, read on

What is iCloud Drive?

Apple's iCloud Drive debuted alongside iOS 8. It's a subscription service that helps you manage documents and other types of files across iPhone, iPad, and Mac. It further works with compatible iOS and OS X apps, allowing you to sync and save files made with those apps in iCloud. You can of course also access, import, and edit those files directly from within compatible apps.

Note: You should think of iCloud as an external hard drive...only all your content is securely saved online rather than on a physical hard drive (although we arent entirely sure about the whole secure thing after the 4chan shenanegans).

  Also, because computers and mobile devices don't have to be wired to iCloud, you can access all your content from anywhere in the world. 

The new iCloud Drive simply lets you sync, save, manage, access, import, and edit your iCloud-saved content from compatible devices and apps.

Prior to iCloud Drive, all your files were limited to their respective apps. For example: You could never access a note saved in the Day One app by using a different note-taking app. Also, if you posted a photo to Instagram but later wanted to open the photo in Snapseed, you would need to save the photo to your Camera Roll before opening it in Snapseed. You wouldn't be able to pull photos from your Instagram library using the Snapseed app.

iCloud Drive gets rid of this type of tedious workflow (really really tedious): it lets you save files in the iCloud (where you can access them from an iPhone, iPad, or Mac), and it lets you quickly re-open those files in any app that is compatible with iCloud Drive (regardless of file type or which app you used to create it).
 iCloud Drive even syncs changes in real-time. So, if you start a spreadsheet in Numbers on Mac, you can pick up where you left off on your iPhone or iPad.

 

Cost?

iCloud Drive shares the total storage allotment from your iCloud account. By default, you're given 5 GB of storage for free. This isn't much if you are the kind that stores and syncs lots of files, so you'll probably want to upgrade to additional storage.

iCloud makes this easy on iOS. Just follow these steps:

1. Open Settings | iCloud | Storage
2. Tap the Change Storage Plan button
3. Chosose the storage plan you prefer
4. Click 'Buy' in the upper right-hand corner
5. Sign in with your iCloud account

Pricing for iCloud and iCloud Drive are the same, meaning you don't have to pay twice. Choose a single subscription plan, then you'll be able to save files in iCloud, and use iCloud Drive to manage those files across all your devices.

Subscription plans range from free all the way up to $19.99 a month for 1TB of storage:

• 5GB of storage - Free
• 20GB of storage - $0.99 per month
• 200GB of storage - $3.99 per month
• 500GB of storage - $9.99 per month
• 1TB of storage - $19.99 per month

  You can also upgrade or downgrade your plan at any time.

How does it work on iOS?

Apple's iCloud Drive for iOS rolled out with iOS 8. But there is no iCloud Drive iOS app.

You should think of iCloud Drive on iPhone and iPad as an integrated feature, because it is not a mobile app. You can only get to it through an Apple app (such as Numbers, Keynote, Pages) or a third-party App Store app. With iCloud Drive on your iPhone or iPad, you can only save files to iCloud as well as access and edit those files.

But that's not all: one of the coolest parts about iCloud Drive for iOS is that you can import iCloud Drive documents. In other words, if you created a graphic in an iCloud Drive-compatible app and then saved it via iCloud Drive, you can later import that graphic into a Keynote presentation on your iPhone or Mac.

If you want to organise your files into folders, you have to move to a computer running OS X Yosemite or Windows (more on that later). Keep in mind iCloud Drive doesn't have backward compatibility with iOS 7 or even OS X Mavericks, meaning you won't be able to sync files from your device unless it is running iOS 8 and OS X Yosemite. Unfortunately, OS X Yosemite isn't even available yet.

Many reports warned users - who rely on iCloud to sync data - to not active iCloud Drive on their iPhone or iPad until OS X Yosemite releases with built-in iCloud Drive. If you were to go ahead and activate iCloud Drive on your iPhone or iPad, be aware that your files (including app files) won't sync across all your devices. You'd also have no way to manage your iCloud-saved files from your Mac.

If you initially said no to activating iCloud Drive on your iPhone or iPad, you can enable iCloud Drive in just a few taps by following these steps: launch the Settings app on your iPhone or iPad running iOS 8 or higher, then tap on iCloud, and select iCloud Drive.
From there, turn on the option for iCloud Drive.

Viewing and editing files on iOS

We'll use Pages for this example to show you how you can open and edit a file stored in your iCloud Drive in iOS 8, but other applications that support iCloud Drive will let you open and edit compatible files in the same manner.
To open a document in Pages on iOS 8 in iCloud Drive:

1. Open Pages
2. Select the plus sign [+] in the Documents list
3. Select iCloud

In this standard iCloud Drive browser, you'll see the same file and directory listing as on your other devices, allowing you to select and import a file to edit from your drive. Whenever you're done editing the file, you can save the file back out to your iCloud Drive and have the edited file synced back to all of your devices.

How does it work on OS X?

iCloud Drive for Mac launched alongside OS X Yosemite.
Just like any other cloud-storage service, such as Dropbox or Google Drive, iCloud Drive appears listed in Finder under your Favourites sidebar. Click on the icon to open your iCloud Drive folder, and then you every file you have saved to iCloud will show up. You can access, import, and edit these files through compatible Mac apps. (You can, for instance, import an Instagram photo you added to iCloud Drive into a Pages document on Mac.)
Your iCloud Drive folder has a gridview by default, displaying your folders and files and every app that has files stored in their own folders. You can distinguish app folders by their icons, visible on top of folders. Apple has also included a handy search box for when your iCloud Drive folder starts filling up with tons of app folders, folders, and files. You can always change the view from grid to list as well as sort by date, name, and even tags.
To add files to iCloud Drive while on a Mac, just drag and drop them into your iCloud Drive folder. If you're using a iCloud Drive-compatible app on an iPhone or iPad, you should see an option to save your file to iCloud via iCloud Drive. All files visible in your iCloud Drive folder for Mac and are also accessible on your iOS device.

How does it work on Windows?

Windows PC owners who want to use iCloud Drive have been able to do so for a while, while Mac users had to wait. On a new support page recently launched, Apple unveiled an updated Windows version of iCloud that lets Windows users download and install a pared-down iCloud Drive.
The Windows version of iCloud Drive lets you sync everything from mail and documents to contacts and calendars (between your iPhone, iPad, iPod Touch, Mac, and Windows PC) You can also store any file in iCloud by dragging your documents and photos into iCloud Drive folder on your PC. The feature will even keep your IE, Firefox, or Google Chrome bookmarks on Windows in sync with your Safari bookmarks on an iPhone or iPad.
Go to Apple's Support Page to download iCloud Drive for Windows 7 or later, but keep in mind you should first upgrade your iPhone or iPad to iOS 8.

Viewing files online

What if you're on another computer that isn't compatible with iCloud Drive or if you're on a shared public computer? Fortunately, you can still access your files. That's because iCloud Drive is also accessible from iCloud.com.

Simply navigate to iCloud.com in your web browser, then sign into your iCloud account. Once you've done that, click the Drive icon to see, download, and upload files to your iCloud Drive storage

 Note: Once iCloud Drive has been enabled on one device, all of your existing iCloud devices will be migrated over to use iCloud Drive as well. If you were previously using iCloud document sync with various applications, then those documents will be available inside of iCloud Drive.

 

Synchronize everything

As you can see, iCloud Drive is almost a Dropbox replacement, letting you synchronize files and folders between your Macs and iOS devices, but also between Windows and any other device by using the iCloud.com interface.

Do you use iCloud Drive? Have you tried syncing files between your devices? How do you like it? Do you want additional features?

Terry claims foul play at Old Trafford

John Terry claims he and fellow defender Branislav Ivanovic were "double headlocked at every corner" during the Premier League leaders' 1-1 draw at Manchester United.

Picture from Fox Sports

The Blues remained unbeaten but were denied an eighth win from nine matches by Robin van Persie's last-gasp goal, which cancelled out Didier Drogba's header.

Van Persie's equaliser came after Ivanovic had been sent off for two bookable offences after twice fouling Angel di Maria, but Terry suggested on Instagram that it was the Chelsea right-back and himself who were sinned against, rather than sinners. (bull)

Terry wrote: "It shows how well we are playing when you come away from Old Trafford disappointed with 1 point".

"Thanks to all the travelling fans for your great support. "#JtandIVAgotdoubleheadlockedfromeverycorner."

Suarez to debut in El Clasico

Head coach Luis Enrique has confirmed that Luis Suarez will make his Barcelona debut during El Clasico at the Santiago Bernabeu on Saturday.

The clash between Barca and Real Madrid has always been the biggest event on the Primera Division calendar but Suarez's return from his four-month ban for his bizzare act, biting Giorgio Chiellini at last summer's World Cup adds extra spice to an already highly-anticipated encounter.

The manager now has a decision to make as to whether he starts his marquee signing on the bench or goes with a three-pronged attack with Suarez, Neymar and Lionel Messi.

The head coach is highly unlikely to split the Argentinian and the Brazilian, who have scored 13 goals between them in the last five games but he has revealed that Suarez will definitely feature in some capacity on Saturday.

"Today I cannot play this game but you will have assurance he will play minutes," he told Spanish media at his pre-match press conference. "How many? I do not know.

"It's an important occasion for him and he will have minutes."

Opposite number Carlo Ancelotti insisted that the presence of Suarez would not change his approach, but he feels the Uruguayan will be a welcome addition to the Primera Division.

"I'm not here to judge the behaviour of Luis Suarez," he told his own pre-match press conference, televised by Sky Sports News.

"I respect him a lot as a player, he's a fantastic player, he has scored a lot of goals but that doesn't change our tactics of the game with Suarez or without Suarez.

"I think that for football it is good news that Suarez can play in the Spanish league."

While Suarez is in line to play his first El Clasico, Barca midfielder Andres Iniesta is a veteran of such affairs and will make his 30th appearance in the fixture at the Bernabeu.

The Spain international will be the man expected to supply the service to his three prolific team-mates and he admits the entire squad is excited about Suarez's availability.

"He's happy to be available and the rest of us are happy about it too," he told a press conference reported by www.fcbarcelona.com. 

 "We hope he performs as well as he has always done."

Away from the Luis Suarez show, Messi is on the brink of making Primera Division history as he sits just one goal behind Telmo Zarra's record of 251.

The Bernabeu would be the perfect place for the 27-year-old to break the record and Iniesta would be delighted to see him do it, if only because a Messi brace would mean things were going well in the game.

"I just want to see him get past the record, that'd be a good sign for us and mean we are in with a chance of winning," he said.

Barca currently sit at the top of the table, four points clear of Real who are third, and Iniesta is not losing focus on the task at hand amid all the hype surrounding the occasion.

"We will be going there with the intention of winning," he said. 

"It'd be a big mistake to think that we've got a four-point lead and even if we lose we'll still be top.

"We're just thinking about playing well, winning and stretching our lead in the table, which would be important, but not decisive at this stage of the season."

Luis Enrique has Sergio Busquests back in full training and described him as "well" but the midfielder has not yet been given the all-clear by the medical staff to play.

James Rodriguez is set to play in his first El Clasico after starring against Liverpool in Champions League action on Wednesday and he has hailed the spirit in the camp ahead of the crunch clash.

"It will be a tough and complicated match," he said

"I want to approach it calmly, responsibly and also really be up for it, in order to help the team get the win."

"I'm in good form, as is the whole squad. We have a strong group of players and are united, mentally speaking."

"Rodriguez and Isco are both set to keep their places in the Real attack after Ancelotti confirmed that Gareth Bale is not yet fit enough after missing the midweek victory at Anfield through injury."

"He was injured a week ago and is not available for tomorrow," he said. "He is one of our most important players and has great confidence."

"It was not easy for him in the beginning but now he feels good, he knows this league."

Ancelotti also revealed that Pepe has fully recovered after a knock and will start alongside the returning Sergio Ramos, while Dani Carvajal could take the place of Alvaro Arbeloa at right-back.
Cristiano Ronaldo, who has 13 career goals against Barcelona, will be looking to continue his run of having scored in every league game this season with 15 goals in seven games.

Arsene Wenger wants Gunners to reach boiling point

Arsene Wenger remains confident his side can  force their way back into the Barclays Premier League title race.

Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger remains confident his side can reach 100 degrees (boiling point) over the next 10 games and force their way back into the Barclays Premier League title race.

The Gunners head to Sunderland on Saturday in seventh place after five draws have left them nine points behind leaders Chelsea, who are away to Manchester United on Sunday.

Only a dramatic late recovery, with two goals in the final two minutes, secured victory in the Champions League at Anderlecht on Wednesday night.

Wenger accepts his side need to add an efficiency to their game at both ends of the pitch, but feels it will all come together over the next few weeks.

"The main thing is there, the attitude and the quality, but water boils at 100 Degrees and not at 99, so we have to add that degree," said Wenger.

"I look at how we can be more efficient, that is my only worry."

"We dominate our games. It is just that when we have a weaker moment we pay for it, which is why we have to produce more effort defensively as a team."

"If we are more efficient in 10 games time then we will be in a much better position, so let's start tomorrow at Sunderland."

Goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny is set to return having served a one-match European ban in midweek.

Wenger feels the 24-year-old has continued his improvement but warns the Pole faces a "big fight" to stay number one ahead of Colombian David Ospina, who is currently sidelined by injury, and Emiliano Martinez, the 22-year-old Argentinian who did not look out of place when standing in against Anderlecht.

"One of the problems he had recently was coming out of his goal, but I don't think it is a deep problem," Wenger said of Szczesny.

"I want him to come out, I encourage him to come out, but overall he is doing well and is improving always."

"Wojciech is an important player, but he is in a big fight with Ospina and Martinez, I think that will keep him on his toes."

"At the moment I think he is doing alright, but he is in a big fight."

Arsenal will be looking to put a few more goals past their former keeper Vito Mannone, who shipped eight at Southampton last weekend.

The Italian, who left in the summer, wants the Sunderland players to repay the ticket and travel expenses of their 2,500 fans who made the 653-mile round trip from Wearside.

It is a gesture which comes as no surprise to Wenger.

"Vito is from a normal background like we all are. His gesture was spontaneous and not calculated because it was quite an expensive one, so I think he shows that he cares," said Wenger.

"He did well here, but was in the position of Martinez, a number three."

"Mannone had the quality, but didn't play the games and after a certain age you have to let them go."

"So he went to Sunderland, where he was not first choice at the start, but he gained his place and I was not surprised because he is quick, confident and overall he has done extremely well there."