action and repercussion

hi, my name is mariouss

and i feel like sharing my story.

(support group: hi mariouss)

thinking back decades ago, when we met

i thought her heartbeat must have to be everlasting

because as soon as i pressed my head against her chest

all i heard was the rhythmic 'thumping'

that defined who she were

the more infatuated i & her became

the more i heard that constant 'thumping'

in each step

in each breathe

when we touched

and every time we smiled

i was reminded of how alive she was

and how real she was

because without that reassuring 'thumping'

it felt like this was all a dream

but what happened that night

may 14th, 2011

at 2am

when we were arguing after beer , and you left for another drink

and i knew you would make a stupid decision

but it didn't matter to me at my level of rage

my mind was clouded with anger

and when i got that phone call

all the way from the hospital

all i could hear was 'thump thump thump'

i watched her breathe,

assisted with the blinking machine

i witnessed you fade,

i witnessed you, your liveliness disappeared

and i saw all the doctors rush in

with their masks and their machines

all trying to save you

all was a wasted attempt

now i am alone

i am without you

watching pre-recorded adventure time

and i picture your smile

your tiny wrist

those wrinkles at your eyes when you smile

but all i could hear

is the sound of her flatline

(by pankinan haggai)